Sex with my boyfriend’s mate on Christmas Day as he slept upstairs.
Despite the Christmas decorations I’d hung up to make it look more festive, there was no getting around the fact that the house was an absolute pig sty. And there, in the middle of it all, was Steve, glued to his Playstation.
‘Steve, for Chrissake!’ I moaned as I noisily tidied around him, picking up discarded plates and cups.
‘Get out the way of the screen!’ he yelled. ‘I can’t see!’
I couldn’t help thinking that living with Steve was like looking after a teenager – which was ironic seeing as he was old enough to be my dad and it was his so-called ‘maturity’ that had attracted me to him in the first place…
I’d been just 14 – although my profile said 17 – when we’d got chatting on an online dating app. It was all just a bit of a laugh really; I wanted to see what it was all about.
Only Steve –- had replied and we’d started messaging. His compliments soon won me over. Well, what 14-year-old doesn’t want to be told how pretty she is? I lapped up the attention.
‘Let me see a photo of you now,’ I asked after sending across a selfie.
Only he never did. All I knew was that he was much older…
Mum was worried. You don’t know who this guy is,’ she said one day. ‘He could be any one.’
So at first I lied and said he was 17 – well, I knew she’d hit the roof if she found out he was twice my age.
Still, she wasn’t buying it. And when he called up three weeks later wanting to talk to me and Mum answered the phone, she heard his deep, gruff voice and told me; ‘that’s no teenager you’ve been talking to.’
She was so concerned that she called the police, who told her Steve was 33. ‘He’s far too old, it’s wrong love,’ Mum had pleaded.
But still, I refused to stop contacting him. Like most teenagers, I thought I knew best. We started meeting up and I liked the fact that although he was older, a lot older, than me, he obviously wanted me badly and I felt the same. So, I refused to stop seeing him, even when mine and Mum’s relationship deteriorate to such an extent that she had me taken into care.
‘You won’t keep me from Steve!’ I screamed. ‘No matter what you do!’
‘You’re making a big mistake,’ Mum warned.
But I really liked Steve, maybe even loved him. And he felt the same way about me, I knew.
‘Don’t worry about your mum, I’ll look out for you,’ he promised.
I moved in with him as soon as I turned 16. Yes, he was older than me but maybe that was what I needed. A father figure. With my dad not around, I hadn’t had a man in my life for years.
Mum was livid when she found out, pressed charges for Steve having sex with a minor. But while Steve was arrested and bailed he walked free when I told the court that I’d pretended to be 17 when we had sex.
‘It wasn’t his fault,’ I told them
‘I hope you know what you’ve got yourself into,’ Mum said.
But I shrugged her off. Because while Mum and I grew further and further apart, I found out that I was going to be a mum myself. I was 16 and pregnant, scared but happy.
Steve wasn’t so sure. Bu this was our chance to be a proper family.
‘No way,’ I said.
Eventually, he came around to the idea, seemed excited even. But just a few weeks later we were arguing and he picked up my kitten, Rooney, and threw him at me. He missed; the fluffy ball slid down the wall and lay there, whimpering, on the carpet.
Crying, I called Mum who rang the police. Steve was prosecuted for animal cruelty but escaped jail due to me being heavily pregnant.
Still, it meant social services became involved and our boy was taken into care hours after I’d given birth. Devastated, I sobbed as they forced me to hand him over.
‘It’s for his own safety,’ the social worker said reminding me about the kitten.
Still, I was distraught. Back home, I felt empty. ‘It’s your fault,’ I told him angrily.
‘It’s your Mum’s fault for getting the social involved,’ Steve said, turning back to his Playstation.
But was it? Missing all my son’s milestones, just getting the odd letter now and then, I began to see how my life had gone downhill since meeting Steve. I’d become distanced from my family, dropped my friends, hadn’t bothered to finish school…
It felt lonely at times, just the two of us in the flat. Steve seemed more bothered about playing his blinking Playstation or watching TV than talking to me. And when we did talk we usually ended up bickering.
I started to realise that maybe Mum had been right; I’d been far too young to settle down. Especially with a man more than twice my age. I’d thought Steve was my knight in shining armour, someone who would love and protect me. Now, as I looked at him playing Playstation in his baggy jogging bottoms, he looked more like an overgrown kid. I craved attention, romance, sex, but Steve couldn’t see beyond his games console.
So, it was hardly surprising when, at 21, Kevin turned my head. A mate of Steve’s, he lived down the road.
At 45, he was even older than Steve. But this time I wasn’t a silly school girl, I knew exactly what I was doing. When we ended up in bed one afternoon, I felt elated, not exploited.
Only trouble was, his ex, who still had a key because of their son, burst in and caught us at it… She told my brother who she was now dating, who told Steve…
But while he called me all kinds of names when he found out, Steve eventually calmed down.
‘It was a mistake, a one-off. It won’t happen again,’ I promised suddenly fearful of how I’d cope without him…
‘Sorry mate,’ Kevin mumbled. ‘Don’t know what I was thinking.’
It soon was forgotten. Steve turned back to his Playstation and became reabsorbed into his virtual world. But being with Kevin had raised my confidence. I’d been with Steve since I was just a child but now somehow I felt stronger…like I could have a life without him.
As Steve and I grew even further apart. Kevin took up more and more of my thoughts.
A few months later, Steve told me that he’d heard that Kevin had missed his mortgage payments and his house was being re-possessed. He was going to be homeless over Christmas.
‘He can stay with us,’ I said immediately.
‘I don’t see why he’s our problem now,’ Steve grunted. ‘It’s his own fault.’
But just hearing Kevin’s name stirred something within me. I didn’t want him to be homeless. And I could do with company over Christmas as Steve would be bound to be on his Playstation. I’d heard Kevin had a new girlfriend but…
I went round to see Kevin. ‘Just bring your stuff and come over,’ I told him. ‘Steve won’t do anything. In fact, he probably won’t even notice you’re there.’
If Steve had a problem with it, he couldn’t be bothered to say. And as Kevin and I chatted together late at night when Steve was in bed I couldn’t help thinking how he was twice the man Steve was.
One thing led to another and one night we ended up having sex on the sofa while Steven slept upstairs. It felt amazing. Kevin was much better in bed.
‘That was amazing… but what about your girlfriend?’ I asked breathlessly.
Only we couldn’t help ourselves. With the Christmas lights twinkling overhead, we got in a passion filled quickie whenever we could.
I’d thought Christmas was going to be boring this year, but I couldn’t have been more wrong as me and Steve stole kisses and looks all day until Kevin finally went to bed and we could get jiggy under the decorations again.
‘You’re the best Christmas present I could have asked for,’ I giggled collapsing in his arms after another lovemaking sessions while Steve dozed upstairs.
A few days later, Kevin split up with his girlfriend. I knew I should have felt guilty – but instead I just felt strong and sexy, not the child I’d always felt with Steve
At was almost Christmas Day now, I couldn’t stop dreaming of a romantic Christmas with lots of passion – but not with Steve. As I hummed along to ‘All I want for Christmas is you’ it was Kevin I was thinking of.
On Christmas day Steve decided not to come to Mum’s for dinner.
‘I’m going to stay here and play Playstation,’ he said like a right turkey.
‘Fancy a nice bit of stuffing…?’ I asked Kevin, coyly.
‘If you’re offering, definitely!’ he said, as Steve looked on, oblivious.
And as we all squashed around Mum’s dining table a few hours later, tucking in together it already felt like we were a proper couple. Especially when, later that evening, after a lovely Christmas dinner, we had sex on the sofa while Steve slept upstairs.
It was the same on NYE and after confiding in Mum, who thought Kevin was a great catch, I decided there was one New Year’s resolution I needed to make there and then –
‘It’s over,’ I told Steve. ‘I want you to leave.’
‘You’ll never cope on your own,’ he told me as he packed his things and flung his beloved Playstation into a bag.
Kevin drove him to his cousin’s. ‘Sorry mate,’ he said as he dropped him off.
‘It’s not your fault,’ Steve said. He still had no idea what had been going on right under his nose…
Two weeks later, Kevin moved in properly. It felt like a fresh start; no more creeping around. We could be a proper couple. I’d heard Steve found out about our affair and wasn’t happy, but I didn’t care.
In May, we went on holiday to Scarborough, I felt a bit funny.
‘Maybe you’ve had too much fish and chips!’ Kevin joked.
But it wasn’t chips; I was four weeks pregnant!
This Christmas will be our first with baby Molly and we can’t wait. So while I may again be creeping around in the wee hours this Christmas, it’ll be to give our daughter her a bottle!
Looking back, I was just a kid when I got with Steve. I was too young to know any better. I was a school girl and he was a grown man. I was under his spell but all that changed when I met Kevin.
But him I was the one making the moves. I knew what I was doing when we had sex while Steve slept upstairs. It might sound wrong but I needed to feel like I was no longer in his control. It also made me see what a prize turkey Steve was for the way he’d treated me.
I’d urge other young girls not to have relationships with such older men at such a young age. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I was just a kid. Still, in the end Steve got exactly what he deserved. I hope him and his Playstation will be very happy together.
Steve Hallam said: ‘ I was going to leave her anyway. I was just biding my time. When I first met her she said she was older than she was and I ended up having to go to court to clear my name. I met her in a pub, she was all done up. Even my barrister said she looked older.
I’ve moved on now. She did the dirty. She’d constantly accuse me of doing things with other women.
‘Let them do what they want. They’re going to make themselves look idiots. I’ve moved on and I’m enjoying myself. Nine years I was with her. She’ll do the same to him when she gets fed up with him.’
Note: He said the cat thing was basically a misunderstanding and they’d argued because he refused her sex so she hit him with a cuckoo clock – but that he did end up doing community service over the cat. Carina has the police paperwork.